I recently had a chance to speak with Attorney Lisa Cappalli and learn about a very important field of law, collaborative divorce. When most people think of divorce they usually think of both spouses spending countless hours in court arguing over everything from cell phone bills to family pets while not getting much done and eroding any ability to work together as a parenting unit. I know that is what went through my mind when I thought about divorce in Connecticut.

Attorney Cappalli showed me that now families facing divorce have a choice, they can go through the litigated court process or they can pursue a collaborative comprehensive solution that they control. So without further delay, I will turn this discussion over to the expert and founder of the Collaborative Family Lawyers of Greater New Haven organization, Attorney Lisa Cappalli.

Confused, afraid and overwhelmed.

These emotions are natural reactions to a divorce. These feelings can be compounded by an intimidating, destructive and frustrating court process, leaving both you and your spouse feeling powerless.

It does not have to be this way. You do not have to be your spouse’s adversary or relinquish control of your life to the court system. You have a choice about the way you end your marriage and move forward with your life. You and your spouse can choose a divorce process that will allow you to maintain control over your lives and your children’s lives, creating positive parenting and financial arrangements.

Divorce mediation and collaborative practice are alternatives to a litigated adversarial divorce process. For almost all families, mediation and collaboration will better fit the needs and objectives of both spouses. These non-adversarial ways to divorce should allow you both to create rather than merely receive the financial and parenting orders which will likely impact your lives for many years post divorce.

Mediation is a private and respectful way to resolve family disputes outside of court. The divorce mediator is retained by the couple to guide them through the legal process, identify their respective interests, create choices and assist the couple to communicate with each other to achieve a “win-win” resolution. Rather than being either spouse’s lawyer, the mediator relies upon his legal expertise to help couples achieve their goals by serving as educator, consultant and facilitator.

Collaborative practice is another private and respectful way to divorce or resolve other family disputes without court interference. Collaborative practice is also family focused, especially when children are involved. In contrast to mediation, each spouse retains their own specially trained lawyer. The collaborative lawyer advocates to achieve and satisfy her client’s legitimate interests which may include non legal goals such as maintaining dignity and a working relationship with a former spouse. Open communication and creative decision making are emphasized.

Another benefit to the divorcing couple proceeding through mediation or collaboration rather than litigation is the ability to jointly rely upon the expertise of a trusted attorney in an area of law other than divorce. Whether this attorney has a long standing relationship with the couple or is brought into the divorce case for his legal expertise to assist with a particularly complex issue, such attorney can be an important part of the professional team. Rather than being a hired gun or expert for one of the spouses against the other as in the litigation process, the attorney can provide legal expertise to improve the quality of the financial settlement for the entire family. In addition, especially if he or she has a relationship with the couple which predates the divorce, the attorney can help set and maintain a positive tone throughout the negotiation process.

Similarly, depending upon the needs of the divorcing couple, non-legal professionals such as a child specialist or neutral financial professional can play a valuable role on the settlement team in both mediation and collaboration practice. This provides value to the family in terms of making the divorce process more humane and improving the quality of the final settlement.

Because the resolution in divorces reached through mediation or collaboration would be your own and not imposed by a judge or reached under threat of imposition, you and your spouse would be more likely to honor it, thus reducing the risk of non-compliance and additional expense and acrimony post-divorce.

Educate yourself about your divorce process options. Then choose the process that is right for you and your family.

Attorney Lisa J. Cappalli

Lisa J. Cappalli, Esq, LLC

Cheshire, CT

203-271-3888

www.lcappalli-familylaw.com